Waking up is hard to do

Do you ever have those mornings when you wake up and you just want to pull the covers back over your head and sleep an extra hour or two? Of course you do! We all do, right? Well today is that day for me. I don't know what it is, but I haven't been able to get a full nights sleep recently. I have been beyond stressed out about things, but stress has usually put me to sleep, not hindered it. I found myself being really quite grumpy this morning, I snapped at my 5 year old and put my 3 year old in time out for....something? I think it was more a time out for me then it was for her.

Breakfast was horrible, I didn't want to eat healthy food. Let alone cook it. I ended up going for a quick and easy breakfast. Whole wheat toast with pumpkin butter and a soy milk smoothie. It was pretty good, but on mornings like today I want to eat! I mean eat! I want eggs and bacon and hash browns and big gooey cinnamon rolls and the works. So my little tiny meal that I would never have chosen for myself a year ago, it just didn't satisfy.

That's the thing about stress and lack of sleep, for me at least. It makes me crave the things I can't have. I am a stress eater. Anytime anything goes wrong, or I don't feel well, or I'm tired, I eat. Of course I don't eat carrot sticks and lettuce and all that, I eat french fries, burgers, and nachos(ooooooh nachos! yumm!) I would have to say I am addicted to food. That is why the last 12 months have been probably the hardest of my life. Yes, other things contributed to it being a hard year, but denying myself that which makes me happy! You have got to be kidding me! I have slipped up, plenty of times in the last year. Sometimes it consumes me, the guilt from overindulging. Other times I figure I get a free day once in a while. But often those times where I say "It's a free day," turn into a free weekend, then a free week. Then I'm starting all over again.

I just started over a few days ago, clean eating is my new norm. I have enjoyed it so far. Even if I want a cheeseburger like a drug addicted needs a bump. I have never been good at "healthy" eating but, I am really motivated to stick to it this time, and have even got the family involved. They love the recipes I have made so far. That gives me hope. That maybe this is something I can actually do. It has only been going on three days now and I have already lost 2 pounds. Making my new weight 248! I am really happy about the 240's. It has been years, YEARS, since I weighed in the 240's. I was pregnant the last time the scale hit 240, with my first child. So around 6 years! I feel like doing a happy dance all over this house. But I think instead I will just go work out :) Maybe then I won't feel like crawling back in bed with my sick hubby(he has mono, he got it from me...we totally made out!)

Have a great Tuesday y'all!